When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

*Originally reviewed in April 2010*

/
What I learned from this book……

  • Wearing a bow-tie tells the world you can no longer get an erection
  • Using a “stadium pal” instead of an actual toilet will only result in you smelling like a nursing home.
  • Black people should always be impressed and thankful to white people ,when on the receiving end of hospitality
  • People from North Carolina are friendly therefore they will have sex with you
  • Two Young men + one bedroom  ugly paneling = fags
  • If I ever had Helen as a neighbor I would move out right away
  • Portuguese boys steal pens
  • Forget french school, when in doubt say “d’accord”
  • Kate Bush’s music can cause birds to call to anarchy and murder
  • When you quit smoking, recruit someone to fill the void you will undoubtably leave
  • Never befriend the neighborhood pedophile. It makes you more paranoid, especially if you are the only gay couple on your street
  • Japanese people are very indirect people
  • Not believing in God guarantees you a place in hell
  • If your barber has shit on the palm of his hand sit there. Make conversation and let him finish the haircut ,he is friendly after all
  • I really want to meet Hugh
  • It can cost you as little as twenty thousand dollars to quit smoking
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